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| A strange thing happens with solitude. Often times I hear a voice, muffled and screaming. The voice seems to be buried deep down, down within.....in a depth that no ones knows. Stifled and surpressed, it demands recognition. It demands to be noticed and to be let out. Offended by the way it has been swept aside and thrown to the bottom of the pile. Though it should be intimate with my own life by now, to me it seems a stranger. A blurry smear of what I dreamed could be and what I now believe truly is a dream. Why do I see it that way? Why do I not recognize this voice? One that should be my own? One that truly is my own. MY voice, my true voice and my true self. Somehow its been lost along the way, and I'm not quite sure how to find it once again. I know that its there, and for now I'll clutch onto that......before I lose it for good. | | |
| If there could be an exact opposite to last year's trip in Bolivia, this year would have been it. I never knew what to expect and I never quite understood why things were happening in the manner they chose to manifest. I do know that I was stretched. I also know that God has shown me alot through all of the chaos.
Right now, I feel like I can breath. I feel like I can process everything in my own time without expectations or judgments. It feels good. I don't have all the answers.
"I don't have the answer. I don't even have a clue. And if I were really honest, if the truth were known of me, this is what my prayer would be. I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on you. I don't know what to say, but my eyes are on you." | | |
| Yesterday was my birthday. It was a grand ole day, full of working and shopping. I got awesome new jeans and awesome new shirts. WooHoo.
I just dyed my hair, and I think I like it.
I'm going to Crissandra's Bacceloriate (sp?) tonight. Fun times. THEN! we're going to see Star Wars, because she is awesome and got us tickets a week ago.
In hell, there are computers. However, everytime you click on something, 666 pop-up ads shoot onto the screen. Much like the world we live in today....
School is done. Yes! | | |
| I've been a bum today, and man does it ever feel great. I'm already sick of not doing anything though, weird huh? I'm a wired person, I always have to be doing something. I think I like being stressed out and I like have more than enough to do. It helps me to know that I'm living, breathing, and accomplishing something. It feels good to see results, no matter whether they are big or small.
I have one more final, tonight at 6pm. Its an opinion-based essay final. You have to answer 3 out of 10 questions, something like that. I just wanna crap it out and be done with it and be done with ICC. Wooh! | | |
| Everyone who reads this and prays, please pray for me. I'm stuck in a very complicated situation and need guidance and much direction! I have no clue what to do and I'm being pulled two different ways. Pray that I find what God would want me to do. | | |
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